


Solace Found in One Another

by ProPinkist



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Angst, Family, Gen, Gift Fic, Hurt/Comfort, I desperately needed to write some more broriginals stuff so here we are, I make Abi suffer every time I even just mention him, Post 100+ Spoilers, sorry Abi ;w;, this is the second fic I've written with Zeno giving away his medallion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 04:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8130550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProPinkist/pseuds/ProPinkist
Summary: Zeno is determined to not let Abi be alone in his crippling fear and grieving.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lazchan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazchan/gifts).



> Belated birthday gift for Lazchan; I hope it's okay that I just did this on my own and didn't see if you had a request...? But it is Zeno feels which is a safe bet so xD The OVA brought on a fresh wave of this pain for me, as I'm sure it did for everyone else, and so I wanted to get back to writing about the original dragons. Maybe one day I can do something happy with them instead? Maybe...? *sweats*

“Abi? It’s me.”

Zeno did not knock and ask for permission to enter the room like he normally would have in any other circumstances; instead he simply made his presence known to the occupant before slowly and quietly opening the door. It bothered him to not be formal, even with his fellow dragon warriors who were on the same status level that he was… but unfortunately, such things would not work in this situation; he didn’t want to disrespect privacy, but there were no other options left anymore.

It was killing all of them inside slowly, just as it had happened years before. Something had to be done, and at some point in time an unspoken agreement had been formed that Zeno was the designated comforter of the palace. Guen was too boisterous sometimes, Shuten was too gruff sometimes, Abi was hardly in a position to be comforting himself, but Zeno? He was just right.

Because somewhere along the line, Zeno had been able to master the art of hiding his own pain so deeply that sometimes even _he_ forgot that it existed. The others would be there for him in a heartbeat if need be, but he made sure that that rarely, if ever, had to happen.

Inside Abi’s bedroom, sunlight streamed into the room peacefully. Zeno was grateful that the weather no longer always matched their moods, at least; for the first few weeks after their king’s death, it almost seemed as if it would never stop raining, even with the occasional breaks. That time of dreary weather had long since passed, but now the stark contrast between the sunniness outside leading inside and the heartbreaking aura that radiated from Abi seemed almost cruel, and unfitting. Rain and storms wouldn’t have helped the Blue Dragon’s sadness (it was a bitter joke, the sad one being the Blue one) at all, but the fact that the opposite wasn’t true either ate at Zeno to see.

He made his way to the bed where Abi was sitting, his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around them like a child would do. His head was not down, and instead his gaze was directed at the wall, unmoving. A white cloth that had been there for what felt like ages now covered his eyes, but even though he couldn’t see them, Zeno could imagine what they looked like: dull, lifeless, exhausted, and red from hours and hours of crying tears smothered by the blindfold, too many tears that someone as young as Abi should ever have been forced to shed.

They all were hurt, but Abi cried enough for all four of them ever since Hiryuu had passed.

Deciding to give his brother at least a few moments more of silence before speaking, Zeno sat with Abi quietly, letting his presence speak for itself for now. A part of him hoped, prayed, that Abi would say something on his own first, even though anything he would say most likely wouldn’t be pleasant. After at least five minutes had passed, however, Zeno knew that if he didn’t speak, they would stay this way forever.

“…Abi…” Zeno fumbled awkwardly with his words, not really having thought through what he could possibly say to help him. He gently put his hand on his back in lieu of continuing, and that finally prompted Abi to speak up himself.

“Z-Zeno, I…” His voice was thin and weak with disuse, and Zeno almost wished then that he hadn’t spoken, because it broke his heart to hear. Abi had turned his head towards him, which was the most he had moved since Zeno had come in, and the look on his face even with his eyes covered was almost more than he could bear.

Zeno put his hands lightly on Abi’s face, knowing that he could see his pleading expression. “Please… let me see your eyes?”

But he only looked down, shaking his head meekly.

“N-No, not anymore… I can’t u-use them anymore…”

“…That’s not what I meant,” Zeno whispered, his throat constricting at Abi’s wording. His power was uniquely cruel and unforgiving, unlike Guen and Shuten’s, (and even his in some ways) but Abi had always owned it, been in control of it, and had accepted the burdens it placed on him because of how overwhelmingly powerful it was against enemies. They had all silently admired his resolve, especially himself, even as it worried them every time he lost consciousness once again.

But whatever they had done to him when he had been captured had completely stripped Abi of all of that confidence he had always had. The loss of Hiryuu had been the beginning, but even then, he had held steady in battle. The kidnapping, however, had been his breaking point. Zeno didn’t know what had gone on then (all three of them refused to talk about it, and although he understood why, he still wished he didn’t have to be in the dark about it), but Abi had come back scared, and haunted, and even more mournful for their king than he always had been before.

He was scared to use his power anymore. If he did in this state, he would surely lose himself in it.

“Just… show them to us?” Zeno pleaded. “To me? Even just for a few minutes… I just want to see _you_ again.”

“B-But what if-“

“Nothing is going to happen, Abi; I _promise_ ,” Zeno continued, his hands having moved to his shoulders, which he squeezed reassuringly. _This is even worse than I thought._ “The three” – oh how it hurt to say three instead of four – “of us have always been safe from it, no matter what. …And that hasn’t changed, and never will change.”

Abi didn’t say anything in response, just stared at him silently in continued despair, so Zeno took a deep breath and went ahead with the motions. Gently, ever so gently and slowly, he reached around behind Abi’s neck, loosening the knot in the fabric and letting it slacken and fall down. Abi whimpered slightly as it did so, and he kept his eyes firmly shut. Zeno put his hands on his shoulders again to guide him into shifting away from him and towards the wall he had originally been facing.

“Open your eyes, Abi,” Zeno quietly encouraged, and after what felt like ages, Abi obeyed. At the other end of the room hung an ornate mirror on the wall, and Zeno gazed in the reflection to see Abi’s beautiful golden eyes that he hadn’t witnessed in what felt like years. His sadness was even more pronounced now that they were revealed, but Zeno tried not to focus on it.

“See?” he said softly, like a parent would to a child. “Everything is alright here. …Your eyes are beautiful, Abi… I have always believed that.”

“…What good is beauty if I can’t even protect anyone with them, let alone myself?” Abi whispered bitterly, fresh tears forming in his eyes. “Beauty is useless. I have always tried my hardest with my power, I t-thought… but in the end it was all a farce. Useless, simply useless… I couldn’t save h-him; all I managed to do was get myself in trouble because of these e-eyes… _What was the point, Zeno?! What was the point of any of this?!?!”_

Abi’s voice had sounded more and more upset as he had continued talking, and now he had whirled around to face Zeno, looking more lost and anxious and heartbroken than he had ever seen him. In the back of his mind, he was reminded of a similar situation long ago, where he had been in Abi’s position, at his breaking point and begging answers from someone who could not give them. The irony was not lost on him.

“…Abi… You are as far from useless as anyone I could ever think of,” Zeno said firmly, pulling the Blue Dragon’s head against his chest in an embrace. Tears of his own threatened to fall, but he knew he had to stay strong to get his point across. If it were Guen or Shuten, they would have shouted at Abi for even thinking such a thing, but he was not so bold. He would try his best though.

“You are wise, you are strong, you are brave, and you have the kindest heart one could possibly have, Abi,” Zeno continued, his voice finally managing to crack as he stroked his hair soothingly. “You are beautiful inside and out. You… you are so brave, Abi. I cannot even _begin_ to say… h-how brave you are.” 

Zeno still remembered the very first time they had witnessed Abi’s power. He couldn’t exactly practice with it for obvious reasons, so their maiden battle together was when they first saw. Abi had told them everything about it ages before, but even still, he had been so fearful when the Blue Dragon had suddenly fallen to the ground in the middle of all the heated fighting, unresponsive and dead-looking. He always woke up later, perfectly fine again, but all Zeno could think every time was that it would be so _easy_ for someone to take out Abi effortlessly when he was in that defenseless state if he wasn’t watched over when it happened.

Just knowing that and still being able to fight took more courage than Zeno could even fathom.

_My power could be used to save lives, even if I can’t fight, but I’m too scared to be able to use it for that. I always was too scared… no matter how hard I tried not to be… The sword came down on me that day, and from that point on, everything about how I thought changed forever._

_I wish I was more like you were._

“Abi… you have saved so many people and helped us so much. Never forget that… please. If you wish to no longer use your eyes, we will all respect that, definitely… But don’t let the reason you want to stop be because you feel like you don’t make a difference.”

“…I know I need to keep using it,” Abi said hoarsely. “B-But… I’m scared now… I-I don’t know what would happen if I t-tried again… after that… What kind of dragon warrior is _scared_ of his own power, Zeno?”

It was as if Abi had read his mind, and Zeno cringed when he saw that Abi had realized what he had said. He pulled away from the hug and looked up at Zeno again for the first time in a few minutes, his eyes apologetic and sorrowful.

“O-Oh, I didn’t m-mean… I’m so s-sorry Z-“

But Zeno shushed him, pulling Abi back into his arms without hesitating. “…You’re not wrong,” he said quietly, before moving the focus away from himself and back to Abi once again. “…It’s okay though… it’s not a bad thing to be afraid; it just makes you human. The fact that you went as long as you had _not_ being scared is a testament to your bravery, Abi.

“…No, _we_ were the useless ones,” Zeno continued, biting back more tears. “Despite how long we’ve been together, how well we know each other, how much we care for each other… the t-three of us couldn’t keep that from happening to you, A-Abi. We… we let you be hurt. I don’t even know what happened, but I can o-only _imagine_ … and I’m so sorry, Abi…!”

_When was the last time I let my emotions show this much? I can’t even remember anymore… I wish I could just let it all out completely…_

“I just don’t know… I don’t know what we’re supposed to do anymore,” Abi said brokenly, changing the subject and seemingly ignoring Zeno’s emotional apology. “I-I mean… of course I _know_ : we’re still out there, protecting this palace from those who would do it harm… for the queen and the prince… O-Of course I know that, but I j-just…”

Abi leaned back, forcing Zeno to let go of him again, and he wrapped his arms around himself. Tears finally began to fall, streaming down his face in little rivulets, and Zeno had to force himself to not turn away from the sight, his heart breaking.

“I’m b-being so selfish… but I… I want him back. It f-feels so empty here now… there’s no light anymore… I m-miss him so _much_ …”

“I know,” Zeno replied, his own face no longer dry as he took Abi’s hand in his own. “It hurts… It feels like a weight on my heart that will never lift…” He swallowed thickly, looking up at the ceiling as his voice grew high-pitched with emotion. “I-I thought it was bad watching the situation go downhill, r-realizing there was no going back, realizing what it… what it _meant_ … But now. Now… we still have each other, but we’re not the same anymore.”

It hurt to admit it out loud, oh how it did. But Hiryuu had been the reason they had all come together in the first place, the reason they all had met and become so close; four random people from such vastly different backgrounds from one another would never even make eye contact, let alone get to know each other. But the king was how this had come to pass. He had inspired them, encouraged them, and loved them, and had allowed them to love each other. He was their King, but even more than that, he was their beloved older brother. The idea that they would ever lose him, and in such a terrible way, had never even entered their minds.

All of them, Guen especially, tried to fill the hole Hiryuu had left behind. But it was simply impossible, and they all knew it deep down.

“It’s not fair,” Abi whimpered childishly, as he drew his knees up again and held them. “We could p-protect him from anything… except that… I keep wondering if he always knew that would h-happen… do you think, Zeno?”

Zeno closed his eyes tightly, fisting the bedsheets underneath him. He thought of Hiryuu’s words to him when he had given him the medallion, and glanced down. “I… I don’t know… perhaps. …I-I don’t know which would be worse.”

“I’m so scared,” Abi moaned, “that I’ll forget… f-forget what he looked like. Right now, I can still remember… b-but someday soon I’m a-afraid I’ll forget his v-voice… I don’t want to forget… I can’t…”

Zeno inhaled sharply, his eyes stinging anew, and he tried to keep from becoming sick. “I… don’t want to forget… either…” _but it’s inevitable that I will_.

Suddenly feeling terrified, Zeno leveled his gaze at Abi once again, watching him continue to quietly sob into his knees. He didn’t know why, but in that moment he desperately wished Abi would lift his head again so that he could see his face, try to burn it into his memory, because he hadn’t done that with Hiryuu despite the fact that he had _known_ about himself by that point, and he wasn’t going to make the same mistake with his other brothers ~~despite how little good it would do eventually~~ because _it could be any time now, I have no way of knowing; I don’t know how long we’ll be together, but one day it could be over in a flash and then it will be too late-_

He breathed in and out slowly, trying to calm down. This wasn’t the time for that. Abi still needed him, still needed all of them.

An idea forming in his head, Zeno scooted backwards off the bed until he was standing again. The noise alerted Abi, and he jerked his head up to watch him, looking as if he didn’t want him to leave. Zeno resisted the urge to obey his silent plea, and spoke reassuringly and gently.

“…Wait just a moment for me.”

Zeno left the room, closing the door behind him without a sound. He didn’t see Guen or Shuten nearby, but he wouldn’t have been surprised if they had been listening in. They had never outright discussed that something more final had to be done about Abi to try to help him, but he knew they were all thinking it, so he had taken up the task himself.

His own room was just down the hall, and Zeno arrived there quickly. Inside the drawer of his bedside table was a small, ornate box, and was the most valuable thing he owned that he had picked for himself. It was difficult for him to want to spend money on himself, so used as he was to his life before becoming a dragon warrior… but he had needed something special for what was inside the box.

Holding it close to his chest, Zeno turned and headed back to the Blue Dragon’s room. Abi was still sitting where he had been before, looking like he had recovered somewhat, his face dry. He smiled weakly at Zeno in greeting, and Zeno smiled back, joining him by his side once again.

“Something for you,” he said softly, sitting the little box down on the bed in between them. Abi watched with slight confusion and curiosity, but as soon as the lid was lifted, he let out a small gasp of surprise.

“T-The medallion… Of course; how could I forget…”

Zeno slowly lifted it out of the box, holding it as delicately as if it were alive (maybe it was, in some way). He let it dangle in the air in front of him for a few moments, admiring how it caught the sunlight. It still retained its golden shine, never dulling, even to this day.

Then, Zeno dropped it in his palm, and held it out to Abi tenderly.

“Here.”

Abi stared down at the heirloom that had once been their king’s, his expression a mix of sadness, longing, and nostalgia as he began to cry a little once again. But then he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“…He gave it to you, Zeno. I cannot disrespect that, no matter what.”

It was Zeno’s turn to shake his head then, and he moved closer to Abi, wrapping his other arm around his head comfortingly. “It’s alright. Just for now… I want you to have it. …I believe our King would want it to be with whoever needs it most at any given time… and right now, that person isn’t me. It’s you, Abi.”

Abi looked down, his face pained, but he didn’t protest when Zeno reached up to slip the medallion around his neck. His fingertips lingered on the smooth gold for a few final seconds before he pulled away to let Abi have it.

His youngest brother touched the medallion slowly, appearing as if scared of soiling such a precious treasure that had belonged to the one he had loved and missed so much. After a few moments, Abi cupped it in his hands, lifting it up to face level. Upon doing so, his eyes widened, and he glanced up at Zeno.

“It… It still smells like him.”

Zeno smiled a bittersweet smile, having waited for him to notice, and nodded in response. Without any more hesitation, Abi pressed the medallion close to his face, closing his eyes and letting his tears fall. He held onto it like a lifeline, and Zeno didn’t interrupt him, but simply let him have his moment. Abi’s mouth was covered, but he could still tell by the way his eyes crinkled that he was smiling, even if just a little bit and despite his tears.

He knew he had done the right thing, and Zeno finally felt a little bit of relief, more than he had since this conversation had begun.

After a while, Abi seemed to return to his senses, and he slowly let the medallion fall back down to his chest. He breathed shakily, wiping his eyes and face with his hand as he gazed at Zeno, smiling serenely.

“…Thank you, Zeno. I’m glad we have you with us.”

He frowned slightly, still tracing his finger over the medallion absentmindedly. “I… I’m sorry. I’ve been hurting you all… with my despair and fear…” Another stray tear slipped from his eye, and Abi wiped it away, his voice distraught. “I… p-promised our King that I would be strong without him… but I’ve failed. …Not just him, but you all as well.”

Zeno’s heart melted, and he reached forward and hugged Abi for what felt like the hundredth time that day. “There’s nothing to apologize for… nothing at all,” he said softly, smiling as he felt Abi hug him back for the first time. “…When it comes to your power, we can’t even begin to understand how you feel. …But we can do our best to help. And, well… of course we miss him too.”

“I know,” Abi whispered, obviously trying to keep his voice strong. “You’re all here for me, always… I forgot that… I’m sorry.”

Zeno squeezed tighter, running his fingers through Abi’s hair. “It just hurt to not know how to help you… we just wanted you back.” He closed his eyes, his voice wavering slightly. “…We couldn’t bear to lose you too. Even little Yakshi has been worried about you, you know. He asks us all the time if he can finally see you again."

“I-Is that so..." Abi replied, his voice fond but tinged with sadness. He wasn't very good with children, never had been, but he had formed a special bond with Hiryuu's young son after his father's death, which wasn't surprising. "I’ll try to be better now, for him and you… I know I said that last time, but please believe me,” he promised quietly. “…Thank you for not giving up on me… and thanks for letting me hold onto the medallion… I a-appreciate it, Zeno.”

“We never would give up, ever,” Zeno solemnly swore, his voice gentle. “…And you’re welcome; keep it as long as you need.”

After they had embraced for a few minutes longer, he let go, moving backwards and standing up from the bed. Zeno held out his hand to Abi once more, hoping he would reciprocate.  
“Would you come outside with me? The others want to see you, I know.”

Abi smiled in response, and it was finally a genuine one. “That would be lovely… however, they have been listening in all this time. At some point I noticed them.”

Zeno’s eyes widened, and he smirked, whirling around and yanking open the door. Sure enough, two sheepish faces poked in the doorframe, not bothering to hide themselves now that they knew they’d been caught.

“Surely you should have known you’d be spotted,” Zeno laughed, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

“Oh I’m sure they knew, but they simply couldn’t help themselves,” Abi smirked, finally rising from the bed himself and coming over to join them. Zeno watched him, and although it was unsurprisingly still obvious that he had been crying, he finally looked calmer and more like himself than he had seen him all day. He was still lightly holding onto the medallion with one hand, as if it was grounding him, but he took it as a good sign rather than a bad one.

“Just wanted to make sure Zeno wasn’t making you cry too hard,” Shuten remarked, although his heart wasn’t in the insult, and they all knew it.

As Zeno watched Guen ruffle Abi’s hair affectionately and Shuten punch him in the shoulder lightly to scold him for worrying them, and then was dragged into a hug with all four of them, he felt at peace, and allowed himself to believe that things would start to become alright again. It would never be the same as it had been before, no; he had told Abi as much. But as long as they had each other, they would never truly be lost.

Their family may be broken now with one of their members gone forever, but they were going to do their damnedest to keep it from breaking any further.

At least for now, Zeno could keep up the lie that he wouldn’t be the cause of that happening.


End file.
